A question for my British readers

What do you call an English muffin?

Is it just a "muffin"? And if so, what do you call a muffin?

The s.o. and I brainstormed on possible English names for English muffins, and this is what we came up with:

Scottish muffin
Old Bean
crumpet gone wrong
biscuit*
breakfast puck**
back muffin***

Silly, aren't we? Still, I need to know the answer or I won't sleep tonight.

-----
Notes:

* Why not? Cookies are called that, after all.

** Do the British even play hockey? Still, our favorite option.

*** See "Canadian bacon" = "back bacon"