The cat is avoiding me

Last week I was woken up for the nth time by the cat scratching on the bedroom furniture. It was the last straw. My fantasy of training her to stop had come to an abrupt end. I crawled out of bed, marched directly to the computer and ordered a packet of Soft Paws. I was grumpy, so the cat is extremely lucky I ordered them in clear rather than in hot pink.

They arrived today in the mail.

A number of my animal-loving friends have recommended Soft Paws to me over the years. They're basically soft plastic nail sheaths that fit over the cat's claws so they can scratch to their heart's content without causing any harm whatsoever. The little sheaths drop off naturally after 4 to 6 weeks and you replace them as needed.

Here's the catch: First you have to clip all the cat's nails. Then you have to stick the nail covers on with superglue. Legomen, I think you know where this is going.

An hour or two after the beginning of the process, the cat is wandering around dunking her paws in water bowls and licking them obsessively. She's knocked off three Soft Paws, but the rest appear to be sticking (this is considered normal; the success rate improves over time, apparently). Meanwhile, I'm nursing a few nasty welts and I have cat hair stuck all over me with superglue.