Doctor, at my gyno appointment:
"Let's see...you have a blood pressure of 88 over 40, and your weight is excellent."
Me, at lunch fifteen minutes later:
"I'll have the eight-inch sub sandwich with cheese steak and pepperoni. Can I get that with provolone?"
"The only thing I would suggest--and this is just a suggestion--is that you try to get less caffeine in your diet."
"Oh! And a large Diet Coke."
GAH! What the hell do I think I'm doing?!